Guilt is the emotional experience that occurs when we believe or realise that we have compromised our own standards of conduct or when we have violated universal moral standards and hold ourselves responsible for that particular violation. When we feel we often feel a sense of regret over the actions that we took, or did not take. We generally only feel guilt over actions we see as bad or wrong. If we believe we are entitled to have taken the action we took, we will not feel a sense of guilt even if others would in the same situation.
Guilt isn't always a negative emotion. Guilt can be beneficial as it can make us take a moment to stop and think about our actions and even adjust course to take actions that will not cause us to feel guilty about them. Guilt can also lead us to offer up an apology when we have wrong someone. Being able to experience the feeling of guilt shows us that we have both moral and ethical standards and well as a sense of empathy. Guilt can help to motivate us to do better and to make choices that reduce the chances of us feeling guilty.
On the other hand, guilt can also be a devastating emotion, especially when it is used to manipulate others into doing something that they would otherwise not do. I believe we are all guilty of this at times (no pun intended). As a parent I know there have been times I have used guilt in order to get my girls to help out around the house more, or even to convince them to skip an outing. As a wife there have also been times I've used guilt to get my way around the house. The occasional use of guilt is generally harmless, as is feeling it occasionally, but when felt over a long period of time guilt can have some negative effects on our bodies.
Guilt can have the same negative effects on our body as stress places upon it. Prolonged feelings of guilt are very closely linked to depression in many people. Continually feeling guilty can lead to thoughts of not being good enough and a dreary out look on life in general. A great way to deal with on going feelings of guilt, especially self-inflicted guilt, is through the use of self-compassion.
Self-Compassion is an essential skill that we should all have and cultivate. Self-Compassion can help us to manage pain, hardship and suffering by allowing us to be with these feelings without any judgement. Together with mindfulness, self-compassion can help to diffuse negative thoughts about oneself. I offer specilised guided meditation to help you increase your self-compassion. Contact me today to book a session.